Who’s on First!

Lender Automated Servicer Hotline: Thank you for calling the automated Servicer Hotline, where we pride ourselves in giving instant answers. For your convenience we have given code names to our departments so that you are not burdened with trying to remember all those cumbersome names. Who is handling your payments, What is handling your complaints and I Don’t Know is handling all foreclosures. Please press 1 for Who, 2 for What and 3 for I Don’t Know. Or 0 for an operator now.

Borrower: Um, pressing zero.

Operator: Thanks for calling how may I direct your call?

Borrower: Well, I am not sure who I should speak to.

Operator: Perhaps if you can tell me the nature of your call we can start from there.

Borrower: Well I need to talk to someone about my payment…

Operator: Oh, payments.. You need to speak to Who – transferring you to 1st.

Borrower: Uh..

Payment Department: Thank you for calling Who, how may I assist you.

Borrower: I am speaking with who?

Payment Department: Yes.

Borrower: Well, I have a complaint about this new system it is so very confus…

Payment Department: Oh, Complaints – Transferring you to what,  2nd.

Borrower: uh…

Complaint Department: Thank you for calling What, how may I assist you.

Borrower: Um, What?

Complaint Department: Yes.

Borrower: I am speaking with Who?

Complaint Department: No this is What Department.

Borrower: I dont know.

Complaint Department: Hold Please.

Foreclosure Department: I Dont Know, how may I help you.

Borrower: Um.. Who am I speaking with?

Foreclosure Department: No. This is I Don’t Know, how may I help you.

Borrower: Well I dont know, What Department I am speaking with, Who?

Foreclosure Department: Hold Please. Transferring to 1st.

Payment Department: Who speaking, how may I help?

Borrower: Um I am getting really confused, what is the name of this department?

Payment Department: No, this is Who. How may I help?

Borrower: I DON’T KNOW!

Payment Department: Hold Please.

Foreclosure Department: I Don’t Know, how may I help?

Borrower: Um, I am trying to determine Who to speak to about my payment, which is going to be late.

Complaint Department: Oh, Payments. You need to speak to Who. Transferring you to 1st.

Borrower: uh..

Payment Department: Thank you for calling Who, how may I assist you.

Borrower: I don’t know…

Payment Department: ok, transferring you to 3rd.

Borrower: Hangs up.

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